Daisy had her 2 month checkup yesterday, shots and all. :-( She weighs 10 lbs 5 oz and is 23 inches long! We have a feeling she's going to be skinny like her momma and tall like her daddy! In other words she'll probably tower over me by the time she's 12. The doctor confirmed she has started teething but they probably won't break through the skin for a few more months. All in all the appointment went well other than Daisy peeing on the scale and getting 3 shots in her legs. That had to be one of the most horrible things. Trying to comfort her as she gets prick after prick after prick and not being able to explain it will be over soon. She was fine of the next few hours after the doctor but once we got home she didn't eat well and finally fell asleep in my arms, only to bawl every time I moved. In the evening she began to run a low fever and by 9:30 it was 101. We gave her some infant Tylenol. She felt so warm and was very drowsy so I laid a cold wash cloth on her forehead as I nursed her right before bed. By 2 AM her temperature had gone back down. This morning she was as happy as a clam! Feeling much more like herself again, she got in as much baby talk as possible, to make up for the day before, before she fell back to sleep in her pack-n-play.
Happy Baby = Happy Momma
22 February 2011
18 February 2011
Happy Friday!
Yesterday was Daisy's 2 month birthday and we spent the day having lunch with my friend Katie and taking a walk around the park with my mom. It was so wonderful to get outside and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine and temperatures in the 60s! Yesterday morning I managed to finally get a few pictures of Daisy smiling! I had to put the camera on SPORTS mode to capture these....
15 February 2011
Daisy's birth story
I can't believe 8 1/2 weeks have passed since Daisy came into this world. It seems like just yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. Let me start two days before Daisy's arrival. December 15th we had a doctors appointment. I was still about 2 1/2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Since my due date was looming right around the corner and Christmas was quickly approaching we scheduled an induction for Sunday December 19th, that way I could be home from the hospital by Christmas. I was to report to the hospital the evening of the 19th and have my membrane stripped instead of automatically starting a Pitocin drip. I desperately wanted to have a natural delivery and have heard that Pitocin makes labor worse. We live in the mountains about 30 minutes from the hospital and there was the threat of a bad ice storm that night so we asked the doctors opinion of whether or not we needed to stay in town that night. She said absolutely! We went home and double checked that we had all of our hospital stuff and packed a bag to stay the night at Daniel's dad Jack's house.
Through out the day after my appointment I had been having contractions more frequently but still about 7 minutes apart. On the way to Jack's house I began having contractions every 4 minutes for about 30 minutes and then they slowed down again to 7-10 minutes apart. We spent the evening with Jack, his wife Andrea and her son Devin. We ate pizza, watched movies, I continued to have contractions, and we watched as the ice began to build up on our cars. Devin was gracious enough to let us stay in his room for the night but I must say Daniel and I didn't sleep very well. I was woken up with contractions every 7 minutes throughout the night. They had gotten stronger from the ones I had felt during the day and the pain was located mainly in the lower back. I had been very concerned about having back labor, my mother had it and I already had lower back problems so it seemed inevitable. As we got up Thursday (the 16th) the contractions slowed way down. I would occasionally have a few 10 minutes apart but for the most part they weren't very noticeable. That being said I decided to go lay back down on Devin's bed and try to get a little rest while the guys hung out in the living room. The contractions didn't really pick up again but I was having a few here and there, and unfortunately was never able to fall back asleep.
My mom called to check on me at 11:30am. I told her about my contractions that night, let her know that they had slowed back down and that as soon as the roads looked really good and clear we were going to head home. After hanging up I continued to lay there for a few more minutes. And by a few more minutes I mean no more than five before I had this really weird sensation. I laid there a second thinking hmm?? "I wonder if my water broke?!' I reached down and felt that my leggings were wet! Being that I was in my 16 year old step brother in law's bed I couldn't help but think OMG! I cannot get his bed wet he'll be traumatized! I crossed my legs and attempted to roll out of bed with out leaking any fluids, Success! I then managed to hobble cross-legged to the bathroom down the hall and yell at Daniel to COME HERE! before I shut the bathroom door. Daniel rushed in and I told him my water broke! He ran out to get my bag and he told his dad that my water had broke. I later heard that Devin then ran back to his mom's bedroom and said "Jessica's water broke! What does that mean?" and he then proceeded to pace in the garage. We think he was afraid the baby was just going to fall out! I called my mom right back to let her know. I then proceeded to call the doctor's office. To my luck there was a message saying that they had delayed opening due to the weather but if you are in your last month of pregnancy to press 6 for labor and delivery. I did this and to my dismay the message just started all over! I pressed 6 several times only to hear the same thing again. I then tried pressing 7 to "leave a message" and once again got a repeat! This unnerved me just a little but after finding a telephone book I finally got a hold of labor and delivery. They told me to come on in and that yes I could take a shower before hand. After showering I got dressed and considered using one of Daisy's diapers imagining that it surely would have more absorption than the pad I had! I told Daniel he wasn't allowed to look embarrassed if I looked like I had peed my pants by the time we got to the hospital! He laid out a garbage bag and towel over my seat just in case and drove us to the hospital. Jack and Andrea followed and my mom met us there. You'd think that being a hospital their parking lot would be salted, but noooooo! We were lucky to find a parking space not completely covered in ice!
Once I got checked in they took my to triage to make sure I wasn't crazy and my water had in fact broken. After we got to our LDRP room I was strapped into the monitors, told I was still only 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced and then was left to "labor." The contractions weren't to bad to start off with so after they gave me my IV I set off on a walk down the halls with Daniel and my mom. The contractions began to pick up a little so we headed back to our room. From this point on labor is pretty much a blur! I tried watching a little tv but only got annoyed at it every time another contraction hit. Hitting the mute button became a sign to Daniel and my mom that one was coming. After a short period of time off went the tv because frankly it was just pissing me off. So I thought I'd try listening to my "labor playlist," a playlist I put together of relaxing tranquil sounds and soothing eclectic vocalists. The contractions began getting a lot stronger and much more frequent, about every 2 minutes, and the pain was still localized in my lower back making it very uncomfortable to sit. Every time a contraction hit I would push my fists down into the bed and try and lift myself up or rock back and forth. The whole time the contractions were coming I felt like the device monitoring them was not working. It was not picking up the contractions as I was feeling them, there were even a few times I was at the peak of one and the machine was registering zero. Eventually I decided to try sitting on my yoga ball for a while hoping that its bounce would relieve a little pressure off my back. Boy was I wrong! This only made the pain in my back worse! I vaguely remember mumbling "Yoga ball sucks!" into the pillows I had my face buried in.
I don't remember how long I labored with contractions 2 minutes apart but after some time it began to be unbearable. I desperately wanted to have a natural labor but with every contraction I was feeling more and more worn down. I couldn't sit, stand, or lay comfortably when the contractions hit and I couldn't even grab at my back where the pain hurt. I was miserable! I remember saying I can't do this and sobbing as the contractions progressed. At 5:30 pm after much thought and many tears I decided to have the epidural. After telling the nurse she informed me the anesthesiologist wouldn't be back for another hour and a half. That would mean I would have endured 45 more contractions and I didn't feel like I could do that. With more tears I let them give me Stadol and Phenegran to take the edge off the contractions. Since I am not used to taking much medications they gave me half the normal dose of each and even that was strong! If I could go back and change one thing about my labor I would NOT have taken the Stadol and Phenegran! It made me groggy, loopy, and feel like I was drunk! It was horrible! I would have rather sucked it up and taken those next 45 contractions with clenched fists and a red face! I still very much felt the contractions and it was much harder breathing through them since I felt like I was going to pass out from the meds. From that point on I barely remember anything up until i started pushing. At 7 pm I was finally getting the epidural. This made me very nervous because I had to sit on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, with no one supporting me and I still felt like I was going to pass out. Thankfully I didn't even feel the actual needle going in and within seconds I began to go numb.
So now I'm numb from the waist down and loopy as all get out. Our families were hanging out in our room and I barely remember them being there. I have a picture of Daniel feeding me ice chips and resting his and on my stomach and I don't even remember it. It's a horrible feeling and it brings tears to my eyes. I feel like I missed out on one of the most special moments of our lives. I don't care how many doctors tell you an epidural doesn't slow down labor, THEY'RE LYING!! As soon as I got my epidural the contractions practically went away. So then of course they have to give me Pitocin to make me have contractions. At this time I realized I wasn't completely numb on my right side and I asked the nurse if there was anything I could do about this. They gave me another boost of the epidural and turned me onto my right side. Within a few minutes 6 nurses ran in and kicked everyone but Daniel and my mom out! Daisy's heart rate had dropped drastically. They rolled me onto my left side and put me on oxygen. The nurse reached up and was rubbing Daisy's head trying to get her to move. She finally moved and her heart rate went back up. Through this whole ordeal I am laying there trying to calmly breathe as I look at the sheer terror on my husband's and mother's faces and want nothing more than to burst into tears. I just kept telling myself you have to be calm and breathe for Daisy, getting all worked up will not help the situation. I remember asking the nurse if she was going to be ok and once her heart rate was back up they assured me she was going to be fine. As the nurses were getting ready to leave the room they asked if I wanted to send people back in, all I said was I just want my daddy! Daniel was right back at my side as soon as everyone was out of the way and he was devastated that he couldn't hold my hand and be right next to me through the whole ordeal. Once it was just myself, Daniel, my mom and dad in the room I finally cried. It was a mixture of fear and relief, pain and joy.
I don't know what went on between that traumatic event and when it was finally time to push I just know I was ready to meet my baby girl! At 11 pm the nurse told me it was time to finally start pushing. My dad headed to the waiting room and I began to push. We tried to fit in 2-3 good pushed during every contraction. It wasn't as hard as I expected it would be. The analogy my doctor used was "pushing a bowling ball through a pringles can". I focused on the pattern of my hospital gown during every contraction. I felt very focused and very calm and ironically I didn't make a noise, turn red, or even wrinkle my brow while pushing. I was the 7th woman my mom has been the labor coach for and she said never once has she had anyone push silently, my doctor responded with "Just the way Tom Cruise likes it!". As Daisy began to crown the nurse told us she had hair! We were shocked to find this out as Daniel and I were bald babies, in fact I was bald until I was 2! Earlier in my pregnancy when my mom and I would discuss my labor and delivery I told her I don't want anyone asking me if I want a mirror to see whats going on down there! I was afraid it would hurt too bad and seeing it would only make the pain seem worse. The nurse informed me that if I looked up the light above me had a reflective cover so if I wanted to see I could. I said I don't know! I had been so opposed to it before but right then in the middle of it the thought seemed exciting! So I looked up. The reflection wasn't clear like a mirror would be, but more like looking at your reflection in a window, plus I didn't have my glasses on, but surely enough I could begin to see my little girls head! My doctor came in around midnight when it was time for the real pushing to begin. I continued to push in silence for about 20 minutes. On my second to last push I let out a small groan and with my next push out came Daisy's head! Daniel said it was a little freaky because as soon as her head was out she started wailing! So there I was laying spread eagle with a screaming baby head coming out my who-ha! Once the doctor got her nose and mouth all cleaned out one more push brought her right out! Daniel cut the umbilical cord and she was taken to the little station in our room to be cleaned up.
When they finally brought Daisy to me and laid her in my arms I felt very indifferent. Who was this stranger I was holding? The whole time I was pregnant I imagined a baby, size, shape, cuddly little thing, but never once did I imagine her face. So even though holding her in my arms and looking into her eyes for the first time was amazing, I felt confused, I felt like I didn't know her at all. I didn't like that feeling but had been assured through a number of pregnancy books that feeling overwhelmed instead of overjoyed is normal. It didn't take long for the feeling of joy to take over, I think it came as soon as I began to nurse her for the first time.
40 weeks pregnant
Through out the day after my appointment I had been having contractions more frequently but still about 7 minutes apart. On the way to Jack's house I began having contractions every 4 minutes for about 30 minutes and then they slowed down again to 7-10 minutes apart. We spent the evening with Jack, his wife Andrea and her son Devin. We ate pizza, watched movies, I continued to have contractions, and we watched as the ice began to build up on our cars. Devin was gracious enough to let us stay in his room for the night but I must say Daniel and I didn't sleep very well. I was woken up with contractions every 7 minutes throughout the night. They had gotten stronger from the ones I had felt during the day and the pain was located mainly in the lower back. I had been very concerned about having back labor, my mother had it and I already had lower back problems so it seemed inevitable. As we got up Thursday (the 16th) the contractions slowed way down. I would occasionally have a few 10 minutes apart but for the most part they weren't very noticeable. That being said I decided to go lay back down on Devin's bed and try to get a little rest while the guys hung out in the living room. The contractions didn't really pick up again but I was having a few here and there, and unfortunately was never able to fall back asleep.
My mom called to check on me at 11:30am. I told her about my contractions that night, let her know that they had slowed back down and that as soon as the roads looked really good and clear we were going to head home. After hanging up I continued to lay there for a few more minutes. And by a few more minutes I mean no more than five before I had this really weird sensation. I laid there a second thinking hmm?? "I wonder if my water broke?!' I reached down and felt that my leggings were wet! Being that I was in my 16 year old step brother in law's bed I couldn't help but think OMG! I cannot get his bed wet he'll be traumatized! I crossed my legs and attempted to roll out of bed with out leaking any fluids, Success! I then managed to hobble cross-legged to the bathroom down the hall and yell at Daniel to COME HERE! before I shut the bathroom door. Daniel rushed in and I told him my water broke! He ran out to get my bag and he told his dad that my water had broke. I later heard that Devin then ran back to his mom's bedroom and said "Jessica's water broke! What does that mean?" and he then proceeded to pace in the garage. We think he was afraid the baby was just going to fall out! I called my mom right back to let her know. I then proceeded to call the doctor's office. To my luck there was a message saying that they had delayed opening due to the weather but if you are in your last month of pregnancy to press 6 for labor and delivery. I did this and to my dismay the message just started all over! I pressed 6 several times only to hear the same thing again. I then tried pressing 7 to "leave a message" and once again got a repeat! This unnerved me just a little but after finding a telephone book I finally got a hold of labor and delivery. They told me to come on in and that yes I could take a shower before hand. After showering I got dressed and considered using one of Daisy's diapers imagining that it surely would have more absorption than the pad I had! I told Daniel he wasn't allowed to look embarrassed if I looked like I had peed my pants by the time we got to the hospital! He laid out a garbage bag and towel over my seat just in case and drove us to the hospital. Jack and Andrea followed and my mom met us there. You'd think that being a hospital their parking lot would be salted, but noooooo! We were lucky to find a parking space not completely covered in ice!
Once I got checked in they took my to triage to make sure I wasn't crazy and my water had in fact broken. After we got to our LDRP room I was strapped into the monitors, told I was still only 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced and then was left to "labor." The contractions weren't to bad to start off with so after they gave me my IV I set off on a walk down the halls with Daniel and my mom. The contractions began to pick up a little so we headed back to our room. From this point on labor is pretty much a blur! I tried watching a little tv but only got annoyed at it every time another contraction hit. Hitting the mute button became a sign to Daniel and my mom that one was coming. After a short period of time off went the tv because frankly it was just pissing me off. So I thought I'd try listening to my "labor playlist," a playlist I put together of relaxing tranquil sounds and soothing eclectic vocalists. The contractions began getting a lot stronger and much more frequent, about every 2 minutes, and the pain was still localized in my lower back making it very uncomfortable to sit. Every time a contraction hit I would push my fists down into the bed and try and lift myself up or rock back and forth. The whole time the contractions were coming I felt like the device monitoring them was not working. It was not picking up the contractions as I was feeling them, there were even a few times I was at the peak of one and the machine was registering zero. Eventually I decided to try sitting on my yoga ball for a while hoping that its bounce would relieve a little pressure off my back. Boy was I wrong! This only made the pain in my back worse! I vaguely remember mumbling "Yoga ball sucks!" into the pillows I had my face buried in.
I don't remember how long I labored with contractions 2 minutes apart but after some time it began to be unbearable. I desperately wanted to have a natural labor but with every contraction I was feeling more and more worn down. I couldn't sit, stand, or lay comfortably when the contractions hit and I couldn't even grab at my back where the pain hurt. I was miserable! I remember saying I can't do this and sobbing as the contractions progressed. At 5:30 pm after much thought and many tears I decided to have the epidural. After telling the nurse she informed me the anesthesiologist wouldn't be back for another hour and a half. That would mean I would have endured 45 more contractions and I didn't feel like I could do that. With more tears I let them give me Stadol and Phenegran to take the edge off the contractions. Since I am not used to taking much medications they gave me half the normal dose of each and even that was strong! If I could go back and change one thing about my labor I would NOT have taken the Stadol and Phenegran! It made me groggy, loopy, and feel like I was drunk! It was horrible! I would have rather sucked it up and taken those next 45 contractions with clenched fists and a red face! I still very much felt the contractions and it was much harder breathing through them since I felt like I was going to pass out from the meds. From that point on I barely remember anything up until i started pushing. At 7 pm I was finally getting the epidural. This made me very nervous because I had to sit on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, with no one supporting me and I still felt like I was going to pass out. Thankfully I didn't even feel the actual needle going in and within seconds I began to go numb.
So now I'm numb from the waist down and loopy as all get out. Our families were hanging out in our room and I barely remember them being there. I have a picture of Daniel feeding me ice chips and resting his and on my stomach and I don't even remember it. It's a horrible feeling and it brings tears to my eyes. I feel like I missed out on one of the most special moments of our lives. I don't care how many doctors tell you an epidural doesn't slow down labor, THEY'RE LYING!! As soon as I got my epidural the contractions practically went away. So then of course they have to give me Pitocin to make me have contractions. At this time I realized I wasn't completely numb on my right side and I asked the nurse if there was anything I could do about this. They gave me another boost of the epidural and turned me onto my right side. Within a few minutes 6 nurses ran in and kicked everyone but Daniel and my mom out! Daisy's heart rate had dropped drastically. They rolled me onto my left side and put me on oxygen. The nurse reached up and was rubbing Daisy's head trying to get her to move. She finally moved and her heart rate went back up. Through this whole ordeal I am laying there trying to calmly breathe as I look at the sheer terror on my husband's and mother's faces and want nothing more than to burst into tears. I just kept telling myself you have to be calm and breathe for Daisy, getting all worked up will not help the situation. I remember asking the nurse if she was going to be ok and once her heart rate was back up they assured me she was going to be fine. As the nurses were getting ready to leave the room they asked if I wanted to send people back in, all I said was I just want my daddy! Daniel was right back at my side as soon as everyone was out of the way and he was devastated that he couldn't hold my hand and be right next to me through the whole ordeal. Once it was just myself, Daniel, my mom and dad in the room I finally cried. It was a mixture of fear and relief, pain and joy.
I don't know what went on between that traumatic event and when it was finally time to push I just know I was ready to meet my baby girl! At 11 pm the nurse told me it was time to finally start pushing. My dad headed to the waiting room and I began to push. We tried to fit in 2-3 good pushed during every contraction. It wasn't as hard as I expected it would be. The analogy my doctor used was "pushing a bowling ball through a pringles can". I focused on the pattern of my hospital gown during every contraction. I felt very focused and very calm and ironically I didn't make a noise, turn red, or even wrinkle my brow while pushing. I was the 7th woman my mom has been the labor coach for and she said never once has she had anyone push silently, my doctor responded with "Just the way Tom Cruise likes it!". As Daisy began to crown the nurse told us she had hair! We were shocked to find this out as Daniel and I were bald babies, in fact I was bald until I was 2! Earlier in my pregnancy when my mom and I would discuss my labor and delivery I told her I don't want anyone asking me if I want a mirror to see whats going on down there! I was afraid it would hurt too bad and seeing it would only make the pain seem worse. The nurse informed me that if I looked up the light above me had a reflective cover so if I wanted to see I could. I said I don't know! I had been so opposed to it before but right then in the middle of it the thought seemed exciting! So I looked up. The reflection wasn't clear like a mirror would be, but more like looking at your reflection in a window, plus I didn't have my glasses on, but surely enough I could begin to see my little girls head! My doctor came in around midnight when it was time for the real pushing to begin. I continued to push in silence for about 20 minutes. On my second to last push I let out a small groan and with my next push out came Daisy's head! Daniel said it was a little freaky because as soon as her head was out she started wailing! So there I was laying spread eagle with a screaming baby head coming out my who-ha! Once the doctor got her nose and mouth all cleaned out one more push brought her right out! Daniel cut the umbilical cord and she was taken to the little station in our room to be cleaned up.
When they finally brought Daisy to me and laid her in my arms I felt very indifferent. Who was this stranger I was holding? The whole time I was pregnant I imagined a baby, size, shape, cuddly little thing, but never once did I imagine her face. So even though holding her in my arms and looking into her eyes for the first time was amazing, I felt confused, I felt like I didn't know her at all. I didn't like that feeling but had been assured through a number of pregnancy books that feeling overwhelmed instead of overjoyed is normal. It didn't take long for the feeling of joy to take over, I think it came as soon as I began to nurse her for the first time.
40 weeks pregnant
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